Why Most Coaches Will Never Help You Find Peace, Happiness and Joy

I’ve spent 30 years of my life as a student in the Self Development space. The initial goal? To up-level myself! I wanted to be the best, to win, to prove what I am capable of. Why? To be happy, of course, AND so I could buy all the things I wanted… and do the things I wanted to do… You know, the car, the house, the trips, etc.

Eventually, I started my own business so that I could have a sense of “freedom.” Choices. The knowledge that nobody owned me or my time but me. Yet, just like most of my clients, I was still incomplete, unhappy, unfulfilled, with a low level of peace, AND stressed out of my gourd.

Sound familiar?

What do most people do if they are not getting the outcomes they want? They hire a coach. Of course, they do! And the coach gets clear on what the person wants and helps that person become the person they need to become to get those results.

The problem? The outcomes themselves will NEVER produce fulfillment, joy, peace, and happiness because they are 100% tied to the Ego.

Let’s boil down many primary motivators of successful entrepreneurs:

Control / Power
To be known / Relational / Position and authority / Caste System
Achievement / To Win / Be the Best / Awarded

Each of the items listed above are core drivers. They serve the business leader very well as they produce a level of external success. The problem is that it is all built on a foundation that is hollow.

Imagine you are digging a hole, and you hire a coach who helps you dig the same hole with a steam shovel so you can do more and do it faster. To later realize, you were digging in the wrong place.

With the Conscious Coaching model we use, the first order of business is to learn to work internally. Connecting to our soul and reframing the illusions we have built about who we are. Detaching from the Ego, and connecting to something beyond ourselves.

At the end of the day, we each need to ask ourselves, What do I really want? What is driving my behavior? Having things is okay. I’m not suggesting you have to live like a monk to be “conscious.” There is nothing wrong with having nice things. Hey, if living a lavish lifestyle is your movie, then own it! We are surrounded by amazing resources, beautiful places, and we have the ability to create deeply meaningful experiences that we can remember for the rest of our lives.

It’s important to understand the drive we have for our life’s personal and business outcomes; not just the what, but the why and how.

Remember: we cannot take everything that we acquire in this lifetime with us. Whether it is stuff, status, control, etc. These things are all temporary. Just like life. Owning the journey in a way that has a high level of congruence is the path.

Interested in learning more about the Conscious Coaching Process? Contact us and we can send you more information erin@chrisyonker.com.

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