The Inevitability of Death


I just turned 47.

One thing I noticed about age is that as soon as I turned 44, I literally had to calculate my exact age. Have you ever had that experience? I mean I know I’m in my mid-forties, but the rest is irrelevant.

We hold some of our strongest paradigms in age and time. And yet within these constructs of what we believe about life and how we relate to time is one truth that we share:

All of us are going to die.

One of my clients just lost his Grandmother. It was sudden. She had raised him since birth and was like a Mom to him. He was away on business when he received a phone call and within 24 hours he was sitting by her deathbed.

Whenever we lose someone we are reminded of our own mortality. Yet, our society often doesn’t talk about death and dying. It is a private matter and can make people uncomfortable. Most of us don’t know what to say and we certainly don’t want to be reminded of our own demise.

When I was in my Neuro-Linguistic Programming training, we worked a lot on timelines—how we internalize and see time as a continuum of past, present, and future. As time goes on and we age, we build an impression that time is going faster and faster.

I remember when my wife Jolie and I first told people we were going to be parents. Almost everyone told us to enjoy the process because it would go by in a blink of an eye. So we believed them and Jolie and I made the decision to spend a lot of time with our daughter. She turned 2 this month and I continue to spend as much time as possible with her and my wife.

I am sharing this with you for perspective. Are you spending the most time that you can with those that you most want to? And are you truly living the life you desire?

Regardless of our different beliefs around time and how we relate to it, I am sure that we can all agree that LIFE IS SHORT.

I really like Vishen Lakhiani’s perspective on how to look at life and goals. He breaks them into three categories of Experience, Growth, and Contribution and then creates sub-departments that address relationships, adventure, environment, health, spirituality, career, development, and community.

So, are you being an architect and designing a life that drives joy and peace, and is aligned for what and where you want to contribute? Or are you locked in the illusion time is slipping by and you do not have enough of it?

Block out 30 minutes this week and take some time to do an audit or self-evaluation of where you are. What are you tolerating that you shouldn’t be? What changes can you make?

If you can’t decide to make the time now for yourself, then realize those decisions ultimately affect your happiness.

You deserve to be happy and enjoy this lifetime.

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