The First Ingredient in Creating Change


My wife and I admittedly use colorful language from time to time. Yet, having a 19-month-old in the house drives us to pay more attention to what we say and when we say it.

When I was putting my daughter in the car this morning she said, “Oh boy” when I dropped something. I had to laugh. Where did she get that? I wondered. Probably from me!

New toddler parents quickly realize that kids are sponges. They are true mirrors to how we think and behave. It forces us to pay attention to what we do and say because quite frankly it will be emulated. Good…and especially bad. But we have to pay attention.

The question I have for you is, Do you pay attention to how you pay attention?

When I work with students in my Karate class the first thing we cover is stance. Stance is your specific relationship to the ground and the quality of it is in direct correlation to your ability to generate power and have stability. In fact, we will often spend 70 percent of the time in a class on this topic before moving onto upper body weapons and techniques. Yet, without hesitation, as soon we start throwing punches, the stance goes out the window.

I will often ask the kids, “Whose feet are those?” and the answer is, “Mine.” Then I ask… “Well who controls them?” and the answer? “We do!”

“Ah yes, of course, but then why are they not where I showed you to have them?”

The students do not realize it, but they are totally unaware of where their feet are because all their attention is on their hands and arms.

When I work with my coaching clients, my first order of business is to get them to pay attention to their actions, emotions, and thoughts (or in other words, their stance). All of these are linked together.

You cannot change what you do not notice.

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